


Circus for a psycho

by SassyLaurenTheKiller



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alien/Human Relationships, Blood and Gore, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Torture, Love/Hate, Past Torture, Pet Names, Psychological Torture, Scary Clowns, Serial Killers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-01-07 04:46:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12226053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyLaurenTheKiller/pseuds/SassyLaurenTheKiller
Summary: The 1600's were filled with many dark secrets but none darker than the secrets that haunted and literally ate away at the people of Derry and those secrets would continue to do just that for centuries to come.One young girl believed that if they gave the monster that hid down the well a child sacrifice, that maybe it would abide and leave the people alone but little did they know, they were triggering  something so much worse.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I've been thinking about this for a while since I love Stephen Kings IT, the new and old one and I'm currently reading the book. I've just been hit with some ideas after I read about the disturbing deleted scene about the well back in the 1600's. I'm going to try and keep Pennywise as much in character as I can because I hate it when he's made soft.

Sacrificing a child. It was always a child that needed to be sacrificed during the many rituals in books.

"If we sacrifice a child then perhaps all the possessions and killings will cease."

The girl standing up was young, she knew not what she was speaking of.

Her dark brown hair was neatly tied back in a bun, her already tanned skin darkened by specks of dirt that riddled her features, showing that she was a peasant and her chocolate brown eyes, filled with an hidden, evil intent.

"You know not what you speak of child."The sheriff of the town spoke up, silencing the young girl momentarily.

The town was in complete denial, refusing to believe that there was an, higher, inhuman being living down in the well, right beneath the towns feet. They chose to believe that the reoccurring deaths were down to witchcraft. Fascinating how the human mind works really.

"I know that there's something down there! You have the believe me."

A couple of male laughs sounded throughout the room, all in mockery at the young girl's words.

"You silly little girl, there are no monsters in the towns well, now enough of this childish imagination before someone suspects you of something."The sheriff once again dismissed.

Of course there was something inside the towns well, hiding and lurking in the sewers beneath Derry. It was something stronger than us all, something from another dimension that couldn't be stopped. These thoughts came to the young girl as she laid there in her bed that night.

In the room across the landing to the young teenage girl's bedroom lay a baby. A toddler. Her eyes were bright blue like the morning skies and her skin was milk bottle white. A small patch of light brown hair was already growing.

In this world of death, if your eyes are open you'll witness the innocence and purity that a baby represents as it's not yet been tainted by the cruelty of the world. In some families, like this one, jealously outweighs the innocence.

The wooden floors creaked as the brown haired teen made her way across the landing to the baby's room, their parents were sound asleep in the room next door.

The teenage girl named Leanne, was filled with spite towards her newborn sister. Ever since she'd come around the attention her and her older brother, James got had suddenly disappeared and everything seemed to revolve around the baby.

Nobody would miss her if a monster snatched her away.

Leanne gently scooped her younger sister up into her arms, the toddler didn't squirm or even make a sound. Her blue eyes just stared straight at her older sibling, the sibling that she'd never grow up to look up to for advice.

It was a cold night, the night it all happened on. The sky was an obsidian black and glittered with thousands of little diamonds that lit up the small town, it was beautiful to say the least if it wasn't for the darkness that brewed within the town.

The teen stood over the cobblestone built well, the toddler had been placed on the floor beside her as she pulled the bucket up out of the drained well.

"Now Lauren, don't wriggle. It's just going to be like going on a swing."Leanne spoke down to the toddler.

She was filling the bucket with little blankets, giving the toddler some type of comfort before this monster or the cold, damp well, undoubtedly killed her.

Leanne then placed her younger sister in the bucket as she slowly started to lower her down into the darkness of the sewers.

The sewers. The place the inter-dimensional being had learned to call home. A creature as old as it was, had learned to hide itself well, only the children were immune to the beings abilities but the adults were easily swayed as they forgot the terrible things that happened over the years.

The creature sat there, dead bodies were floating in the air above it, giving the air a metallic taste and smell. Its form was that of a disfigured male. Sharp teeth, fiery amber eyes and discoloured skin were his abnormal features that made him stand out from the others.

It was fiddling around with some toy that one of the men he'd killed had been working on, it was some type of musical contraption.

But what was this? This sound? It wasn't the box.

Something was in It's sewer and it wasn't a rat this time.

It followed the sound through the sewer's many tunnels, until it saw it. A child, a very young child at that, at the wells entrance.

Another meal.

The music on the contraption was still playing as it was still cranking the handle in an absent minded manner as it approached the child.

The child seemed fearless as it looked up at the creature with intrigue filled eyes. The child smelt fearless. He didn't like that very much, it made them taste horrible.

"What do I do with you?"It snarled out.

It knelt down, it's face close to the child's as fiery amber eyes stared into ocean blue, razor sharp teeth on show in attempt to intimidate the child.

Then suddenly, breaking the silence erupted childish giggles as the toddler laughed at the creature before her.

Her fingers then reached out to gently touch It's cheek, shocking the creature for a moment, causing it to quickly back away from the child.

"Not afraid..."The creature muttered out to itself."Not afraid.. no fear. Disgusting!"

An idea then came to the creature, perhaps, this child could teach him a few things. Yes! Yes! He would let the child live, he would use this child for his own personal gain.

That he did. The child would grow in a child's home and the creature would visit her occasionally. He'd use her to learn what scared the other children and what draws them. He'd grown quite attached.

Too attached.


	2. School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little introduction to the characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support already I didn't expect everyone to like this so much, I really appreciate it!

It was a never ending cycle that the toddler that had been sent down the well had to endure without even being fully aware of it. Every twenty seven years the being would come back for her, to use her, knowing all to well that she'd help him and then IT would go back into hibernation, making her forget everything that had happened over the year.

When the child that had fallen down the well had reached her eighteenth birthday, he'd made it so that she'd stop ageing, he'd bound himself to her so that she could only die, if he died.

Now it's 1989.

IT is coming...

  
** Lauren's POV **

"You've got to be kidding me."I mumbled out to myself.

Henry Bowers. Yes I was friends with him and his friends because I pity the boys, I'd pitied them since I started at this school a few years back but I hated coming out of school to see him pushing around the weak and defenceless kids.

I stood watching them, a bag lazily slung over my shoulder which was currently covered by my leather jacket. My whole attire was leather themed, leather pants, leather boots and a white vest top with a leather jacket over the top. My dark brown hair was tied back in a tight and high ponytail to keep it out of my eyes.

"Your friends being an asshole again."My friend, Micky mutters out from beside me.

Micky was a little bit taller than myself with long dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, he was currently wearing some blue jeans and a band shirt with his bag lazily slung over his shoulder.

"Tell me about it..."I sighed out heavily.

"I don't understand why you're friends with him."My other friend, Chloe commented next.

Chloe was tall and around the same height as Micky, she had long dyed black hair with chocolate brown eyes that were currently enhanced by black makeup, she was wearing a black vest top with black skinny jeans and leather boots. Her personality was pretty similar to mine and people often got confused about who was who out of us both.

"Someone needs to push him off a bridge."Abby states out. That wasn't rare behaviour from her.

Abby was shorter than all of us, yet the most open mouthed, she could be quite the trash mouth when she wanted to. She had short brown hair and Hazel eyes, she had a similar outfit to Chloe on.

"Why am I not surprised?"Katie then adds in as she comes to stand beside us.

Katie was pretty tall, she had long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, she was pretty quiet and she was a pagan. She was wearing blue skinny jeans and a blue denim jacket.

The boys that they were currently pushing around were named Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier. Both were short with dark hair, Richie's hair was wild and like a mop whereas little Eddie's was gelled neatly and short. Both were my adopted brothers best friends.

"Isn't that the kid that's obsessed with Med's?"Micky commented from beside me.

"Eddie."Abby clarifies for Micky.

"Yeah, that's also that loud mouth that tried to chat me up once."Chloe mutters out, referencing to Richie.

"I remember that."I chuckle out softly,

"I think we all do."Abby agrees with me.

"It was embarrassing."Micky mutters out.

We watched as Bowers pushed Eddie down to the floor and he seemed to be leaning over him, ready to punch the daylights out of him.

"You should probably do something."Katie states in a worried tone.

I quickly toss my bag to Chloe as I start to run over to the school bully, quickly jumping in between him and Eddie who still lay on the floor with Richie stood beside him.

"Enough!"My voice was warning as I stared Henry right in the eyes.

Eddie quickly scrambled up onto his feet, watching me and Henry have a stare off.

"Fine. You get to go free this time but next time, she won't be here to save you."Henry yells over my shoulder to Eddie and Richie.

I watch as he storms off in a strop and I couldn't help but roll my eyes, I turned to focus my gaze on the two younger boys.

"I'm really sorry. He's just an asshole."I say in an attempt to mend the situation.

"No shit."Richie comments harshly.

"Richie!"Eddie exclaims quickly, trying to silence his friend.

"What? She basically sucks Bowers--"

"Thank you for helping us."Eddie quickly interrupts Richie, silencing him.

"No problem kid. Oh and Richie, how about next time you want to chat up my best friend, you tone down on the vulgar attitude."

Eddie couldn't help but try and stifle the laughter that threatened to escape his lips.

As I started walking back to my friends, I overheard Eddie asking Richie one question.

"You tried to chat up Chloe Taylor?"

Once I was back at my friends, Chloe handed me back my heavy rucksack with a soft smile on her lips.

"What did I miss?"I ask my friends casually.

"We were talking about the Halloween fair that's being held in Derry town."Katie answers me.

"Halloween fair? We're going to that?"I ask with a raised brow.

"Uh, hell yeah."Abby responds almost like it's obvious.

" I don't know about you guys but I'm going as a zombie."Micky announces casually.

"I'm going to go as a vampire."Chloe states out quickly.

"Yeah same."Katie agrees with Chloe.

"I'm going as a member of a cult."Abby randomly states, gaining everyone's attention as we all stared at her.

"I'll probably go as a clown."I inform everyone, breaking the silence.

"A clown?"They all said in sync.

"Yeah."I shrugged out.

"Why a clown?"Chloe questions me curiously.

"I've always had a thing for clowns."I reply honestly.

"Not weird at all."Micky comments.

"Yeah well, screw your guys. I'm gonna take me and my clown liking ass, back home."I state out sassily, turning on my heels to walk away from them all.

I took the long route home, not really expecting the rain that caught me by surprise but the rain was that heavy, I could barely see where I was going which meant that I had to stop in a bus stop for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments for more!


	3. The clown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting with a clown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone!

This rain just isn't stopping anytime soon, is it?

A heavy sigh left the girl's lips as she stood under the small bit of shelter that belonged to the bus stop.

The wind combined with the rain was beating against my skin and it felt like tiny pieces of ice piercing my pale cheeks, my hair was drenched and little pieces stuck to my skin.

_"Lauren..."_

A voice called from the wind, causing me to stop dead in my tracks. Was I hearing things?

_"Lauren..."_

Nope, definitely not hearing things.

That voice, it sounds so familiar, Have I heard it before? Surely I haven't, have I?

My blue eyes flickered around, scanning all of the gardens of the nearby houses that almost seemed abandoned thanks to the stormy weather.

That's when I saw them, two fiery amber eyes piercing through the darkness of a stormdrain. Oh no, not creepy at all.

I could literally run home from here, it wasn't too far away but something about those dangerous amber eyes was making my feet move towards the stormdrain on their own.

"Hiya Lauren."

The voice it was raspy yet very welcoming, high pitched yet deep. It was a mixture, almost like it was acting.

Shocked that this thing knew my name, I froze and just stared down at the drain, my heart racing. I should just turn around and run, so why aren't I?

"How do you know my name?"My voice was rather confident considering the circumstances.

"I know everyone name."It replies, his voice lower and you could practically hear the smile in its voice.

"Not creepy at all."I mutter out to myself with a half hearted snort.

The creature stepped out of the darkness, revealing itself and I was greeted with what appeared to be a clown. It's eyes were no longer the fiery amber they were before but were now a similar blue to mine. His hair was high, light orange and combed back out of his face. His face was painted white with cherry red lips that had lines leaving the corners and stretching up his face and over his eyebrows. He wore a dirty white clown costume with a frilled collar and fluffy red pom poms for buttons. He must've had bells on his shoulders because you'd occasionally hear them jingle.

"Where you going Lauren?"It suddenly asked me, it's voice rough and gruff.

"Who wants to know?"I reply with a raised brow.

"Oh, I'm Pennywise! Pennywise the dancing clown!"It shimmers its shoulders to jingle his bells for emphasis.

I clicked my tongue at ITs words, I found that hard to believe for some reason.

"But you're not an actual clown though, are you?"

"Do I _look_ like a clown?"IT quickly countered.

"Yeah but--"

"Do I _act_ like a clown?"

"Kinda but--"

"Do I _sound_ like a clown?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't know. I've never met a clown before especially not one that lives in the sewer."I quickly stress out.

"Oh I'm only in the sewer because I got blown away! We all got blown away..."It's voice was now oddly dark. It was kinda creepy.

"All?"I muttered out this time.

"Yes.. All. The whole circus in fact."Its eyes seemed to glimmer in excitement at that.

"Yeah I find that hard to believe."

I watched in amazement as its eyes started to change back to that amber shade that had led me over here in the first place.

"Can't you smell the circus? The Cotten candy...ice cream...chocolate. It could all be yours."

I sniff and quickly shake my head, scrunching my nose at the disgusting smell of human waste.

"All I smell is sewage and besides, it doesn't sound like very sanitary chocolate if it's down in the sewer buddy."

Suddenly, the clowns mouth stretched out into an evil, sadistic looking grin, his two front teeth showing clearly.

"Maybe you should go home. Back to Bill and Georgie. Bill's sick, he's going to need you to cheer him up."

I felt my heart drop slightly at that and I quickly scrambled up onto my feet and away from the stormdrain, causing an amused clown chuckle to escape IT.

"H-How...How do you..."I breathed out, shock lacing my tone.

"How do I know? Oh I know all about you! Yes I do! Yes I do!"It sounded as if it was talking to a dog or a baby.

It stopped laughing, it's features turning dangerously serious as it stared right at me.

"I always know where you are."The clowns voice was now dangerously low, matching it's serious features."You should go home, don't worry! You'll remember everything soon enough."

I couldn't help it anymore, I dropped my bag and ran, fast. I needed to get home and try and get that clown out of my mind.

As soon as I was home I ran through the door and slammed the door shut behind me, breathing heavily and shaking slightly from a mixture of cold and fear.

I noticed Georgie staring at me from the entrance to the living room, his little eyes were filled with confusion as he stared at me.

"Try and slam the door harder next time, you didn't quite manage to break the windows this time!"I heard my adopted mother, Sharon call from the piano where she played the keys elegantly.

If I wasn't completely freaked out then I'd of probably laughed at that but I just leaned against the door, drenched in rain, breathing heavily.

"Are you okay?"Georgie finally asked me, he was now stood directly in front of me.

I was pretty close with Georgie and even closer with Bill, it took me a while to get used to them but it wasn't long before I found myself protective of the pair and considering them family.

I gave him a gentle nod for assurance but he didn't really seem convinced with my answer, he wasn't stupid and I could tell by the way his big brown eyes looked up at me.

"Where's your bag?"He questioned me, noticing the absence of my school bag.

"I...I lost it at school."I lied to Georgie, not wanting to scare him.

"Oh..."He mumbles out."Your all wet! You're gonna get sick like Billy..."

"I won't, I promise... I'll go and get changed now..."I assure the six year old in front of me.

He followed me upstairs but parted with me when I headed to my room, I noticed that he'd headed into Bill's room where I could hear coughing coming from.

Once I'd gotten into my room and gotten some Pyjamas, I headed into the bathroom to get a quick shower.

I let the hot water run over me as I stood staring at the wall, zoned out. I was thinking about what he'd? Said...

"I'll remember what?"I mumbled out to myself.

Then the strangest thing happened, I could hear music, it almost sounded like a lullaby, something you'd play to a baby. It sounded like a music box and it was coming from the drain in the shower.

 ((This is the song. https://youtu.be/R1jG99z7lVY ))

I crouched down in the shower to listen, it almost sounded familiar. In my head, the strangest thing seemed to happen... I saw what looked like a bucket and someone was stood in front of me with a music box.

Then everything stopped when there was a knock at the bathroom door, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Lauren hurry up! I need a shower before I go to work!"Zack, my adopted dad called out.

"Okay! Sorry!"I called back to him.

I jumped out of the shower and quickly got changed into my Pyjamas, wrapping my hair in a towel.

I was on my way back to my room when I overheard Bill and Georgie talking in Bill's room.

"W-W-What do you m-m-mean?"That was obviously Bill by the stutter and deeper voice.

"She's acting weird..."Georgie then spoke up."She didn't have her bag..."

I frowned to myself before I walked towards the door and gently knocked on the door, a fake smile making its way onto my face as I looked over Bill, who was in bed, red nosed and puffy eyed and then Georgie who was sat beside him on the bed.

"How you feeling Bill?"I questioned him in a caring tone of voice.

"B-B-Been B-B-Better."He struggled to get out."G-G-Georgie said that you d-d-didn't have your b-b-bag when you came home."

"No, I helped Eddie and Richie out with Henry earlier and I must've left it outside of school or something."I lied, not wanting to talk or even admit to myself that it was anything else.

"S-S-See Georgie, s-s-she's f-f-fine."

"I don't know Billy..."He mumbles out.

Georgie still didn't seem convinced, I watched as he let out a heavy sigh and left the room, heading towards his own.

"He's confused because I came in panting because I'd ran home in the rain."I tried to make up something to the older sibling.

"O-Oh..."He coughs out slightly, he then wheezed a little.

I let out a soft chuckle as I sat next to him on the bed, a small smile playing on my lips.

"You sound like Eddie now with all of this wheezing."I mutter out to him, gently pressing his forehead as I checked his temperature.

"H-H-He still l-l-likes you."Billy replies, his throat slightly croaky.

A small smile played on my lips at that, it was cute that he did but he was way too young.

"Cute. Richie doesn't."I mumble out to him.

I'd moved to sit cross legged on the bed in front of him so that I was more comfortable and didn't have to turn to look at him.

"R-R-Richie's c-complicated."

"You're telling me."I chuckle out softly."Hey, can I ask you something..."

"S-Sure..."He barely stuttered there.

"Do you know anything about before Sharon and Zack adopted me?"

I watched as confusion seemed to fill Bill's features, he didn't seem to know what I meant.

"W-W-What do you mean?"

"Like... I don't remember anything about who I was or what happened to me and I was wondering if maybe Sharon or Zack said something."

Bill seemed deep in thought now, he was probably wondering why I was asking but after what that clown had said, I was now pretty concerned.

"I-I remember h-h-hearing s-s-something about you being I-I-in a coma b-b-but no o-one k-k-Knew why or how long you'd b-b-been in one for."

A coma... why would I have been in a coma? Maybe that clown did it... no that was stupid, there was no clown.

"M-M-Maybe you suffered a h-head injury or s-s-something?"Bill suggests to me.

"Yeah, maybe... thanks Billy."

I leaned over and gave him a gentle hug before I gently kissed his cheek as a little thank you and get well soon message.

"N-N-No problem. Y-Y-You should probably go before Y-Y-You get ill too."

"What is it with you guys worrying about me getting Ill today?"

"W-W-We c-c-care."

I rolled my eyes playfully at him before I stood myself up and headed over to his bedroom door.

"Seeya later asshole."I chuckle out from his doorway.

"B-B-Bye g-gaping a-a-asshole."

"B-B-Billy boy!"

"B-B-Bitch!"

I chuckled out before I headed over to my bedroom door, I loved playing around with Billy, he was basically my best friend other than Chloe of course.

Once I opened my room, my jaw nearly dropped to the floor at the sight before me. My bag was lay on my bed, dripping wet, I quickly scanned over my room, seeing nothing but the usually things, nothing out of the ordinary.

What was IT?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos and comments for more!


	4. Georgie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lauren encounters a stranger on the way to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! During the week, I'm super busy with college assignments but I'm off now so I'm gonna update over the weekend as much as I can!

I'd laid in the darkness of my room last night, watching as the moonlight slowly crept through the window, the sound of a clock ticking kept me awake that night as I stared at the painted white ceiling.

Now I sat in front of my mirror, dressed for school in a black AC/DC shirt and blue skinny jeans, my hair curled down and makeup done lightly to hide the bags under my eyes.

With a heavy sigh I headed downstairs to have breakfast, Zack had already left and Sharon was still in bed so the only person downstairs was Georgie, whom was playing on the living room floor with his lego turtle which he'd built with Bill a while back.

"Hey Georgie."I yawned out to him.

"Hi!"His squeaky voice excitedly greeted back.

He'd stopped playing and was now following me into the kitchen, turtle toy in hand.

"Want some breakfast?"I asked the six year old who was hovering around my legs.

"Yes please."His timid little voice spoke up.

I reached up into the cupboard to grab Georgie's favourite cereal whilst he went over to take a seat at the breakfast table.

"Billy's still ill."Georgie mumbles out from his seat at the table.

At this point I'd grabbed a bowl out of the cupboard and was now pouring the cookie imposters for cereal into the bowl.

"He'll be better soon, on the bright side, you're not home alone and you can just bug him all day."I tell the six year old for some kind of reassurance.

"I guess you're right."Georgie's voice was a little happier now, signalling to me that he'd made a silent oath to annoy him today.

After pouring some milk over his cereal, I carried the bowl over to the table and gave him a spoon, watching with amusement filled features as he tucked in like he hadn't been fed in weeks.

"Now, I need to set off to school. Can I count on you to wash up yourself?"I question the young six year old with now serious features.

"You can count on me!"Georgie replies through his mouth full of food.

"Don't talk with your mouth full Georgie, its bad manners."I lecture him, almost sounding like his mother.

"Sorry Lauren."He apologies politely.

"It's okay."I assure him, gently running his hair."Now I'm going to school."

"But you haven't had any breakfast! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!"Georgie was now exclaiming, almost like he was ashamed.

"Who are you? My mother?"I tease out to the six year old.

"Not funny."He pouts out.

"Fine, I'll get something on the way to school, now I need to go. I'm going to be late."

I start heading to the door, leaving my bag upstairs and pulling my hoodie, that was hung over the banister, on over the top of my current cloths to keep me warm.

"Wait! Lauren!"I heard Georgie exclaim, causing me to stop in my tracks.

Georgie ran through the hall, hugging me tightly around the waist which caused me to bend down and hug him back, earning a soft kiss on the cheek from him.

"Love you!"He tells me softly.

My heart swelled slightly at his behaviour and words, he was never usually this soft with me, it was normally Billy who got this treatment.

"Aw."I muttered out."Love you too, now go and eat your breakfast."

He rushed off back to the breakfast table, yelling out a."Bye!"To me in the process.

A small smile formed on my lips, little did I know that this was going to be the last time that I'd actually see Georgie again.

I took a different route to school this time, not wanting to go past that stormdrain again. Fuck that.

My notebook was clung tightly against my chest as I walked but then I came to a sudden realisation. I was going to have to walk past that house on Neibolt street.

The creepy ominous house that haunted the corner soon came into view, its appearance alone was terrifying, I'd hate to know what lurked inside. Although many people said that it was literally just a place that drug dealers and hobos went to slum around.

That in zoned in staring at the house, I didn't even realise the person that I  ended up walking into, my notebook dropped to the floor.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry!"I gasped out in a panic, my gaze turned to meet the person before me.

"Oh, mistakes happen."His deep, smooth voice replies, it had a hint of a unknown accent to it.

He was tall, really tall, definitely over six foot. His eyes were a light blue shade and were seemingly filled with what looked like a glint of danger. He had distinctive cheek bones, sunken eyes and an incredible jawline, his hair was dark and slightly wild and his clothes were a brown jumper, blue jeans and some trainers.

I'd spent that long staring at him that he'd just simply raised a brow at me in question.

"Oh! Sorry, you just seem so familiar to me."I mumble out to him, there was an honesty to my words. He seemed like someone I may have seen in my childhood.

"Maybe we've met before. A long time ago."His voice darkened slightly at that.

"Maybe..."I mumbled out to myself.

"Well! I'm Bob Gray."He introduces himself.

He extended a hand to me, I was very hesitant to take his hand but I felt almost compelled to take it.

"I'm Lauren."I reply in a softer tone as I shake his hand.

"I know who you are. You seem awfully interested in this house, why don't you go inside?"His voice was now deeper and more gravelly.

I opened my mouth to say something but his hand tightened on mine, not too tight but tight enough to know that I'd have to fight for my hand back.

"I'm sure you'd find it quite... homely."His voice sounded almost demonic now.

My eyes widened as his features began to shift and change, his pink skin becoming porcelain white, his pink lips becoming a cherry red with a matching cherry red nose, the red markings of that clown in the sewer started to form, as well as the orange combed back hair and the creepy white clown suit with Pom Pom Buttons.

My gaze dropped to the death grip he had on my wrist, seeing that his pink hand had now been replaced by a white gloved hand.

"Come! Join the clown~"It grins out to me, revealing its buck teeth."I'll give you a balloon."

"Fuck your balloon! Get off me!"I whimpered out, trying to pry his hand off.

"Get off me~"It mocked out, chuckling at my fearful behaviour.

My eyes flicked up to glare at the clown in front of me, before a frown made its way onto my features. No, no way is a CLOWN going to mock me. Nobody mocks me. Not even some creepy ass, circus freak.

"Excuse me?"My voice was filled with disbelief."Who do you think you are?"

The clown in front of me raised a brow, the creepy smile It was once sporting seemingly fading off its features.

"Who do I think I am?"The gravely voice repeats to itself, seemingly trying to figure out what's just happened.

"You think that you can just, pop up out of the blue or circus sewer or wherever the fuck you came from and start mocking ME?"I slightly yell out at the clown.

The clown released me but continued to stare down at me, disgust making its way onto its features.

"Well I'm sorry to break it to you, clown boy but I'm not going to take your shit intergalactic, demonic shit!"

"You smell revolting."The clown insults.

I gasp at IT before I place a firm slap across ITs face, not really faxing it at all but it was more for me than IT, I earned a warning glare from IT's fiery orange eyes. The strange thing was, when I slapped IT, I almost felt it myself.

"Rude. You lurk around in a sewer Pennywise, remember that."I growl out to him.

"There it is~"It's voice was almost teasing, as a chuckle escaped IT."Yes! Yes! Pennywise, I am Pennywise."

I opened my mouth to say something but I found myself rather confused at that moment in time.

"Remember me Pennywise! I raised you, little humans girl."IT chuckles out to me.

"No you didn't."I almost deadpan to him.

"Yes I did."IT immediately argues back.

"Uh, I think I'd remember if you did."

"I did."

"God you're so annoying."I whine out pathetically.

"You're stubborn. Stubborn, stubborn, stupid little girl."It insults once again.

A small scowl was then given to the very tall clown before me, I didn't fear clowns, even if they were demonic or whatever. Clowns didn't intimidate me at all, I found them humorous.

"Yes I'm stubborn. No, I'm not stupid. Stupid is living in a sewer where you could catch aids or something."

"Stupid."

"Call me stupid one more fucking time and I'll push you back down the grid myself."

A amused chuckle left Pennywise's lips at that, he knew I couldn't even if I did try but he found my attempt to be intimidating hilarious.

"Ergh, I don't have time for this."I sighed out heavily."Go stalk a child or something, I have to get to school before my friends tell the teacher that I've jumped off a bridge."

I walk right around the clown with a careless attitude before I start to head down the street away from it, I could feel the clowns eyes on me all the way down the street but I just chose to try and ignore it.

Once at school, I'd already missed first period so I ended up just waiting outside the next class, which just so happened to be science.

"Where the hell were you in last class?"I overheard Micky call out.

"Yeah I was so bored!"Chloe adds on.

"Yeah, you missed our tutor going on a rant."Katie perks up from beside them.

"She died."Abby bluntly states out.

"No, actually I got stopped by a demonic intergalactic clown that decided to insult me continuously and seemingly without mercy."I reply to the group, it sounded like a joke even if it wasn't.

"Depression."Abby jokes out, going along with it."You should've decked him."

"I should've..."I agree through a mumble.

"Hey Lauren!"A familiar squeaky male voice greets as he came to stand next to me.

I was greeted by the chocolate brown eyes that belonged to none other than, Eddie Kaspbrak. I noticed two others stood with him, the tall, Jewish, blonde curly haired that I hadn't seen all week which was Stanley Uris and of course, the annoying one that hated me yet worshipped my best friend, Richie Tozier.

"Here we go."Micky mutters out to us all.

"Just ask her, pussy."I overheard Richie whisper out to him.

"Shut up Richie, I know what I'm doing."Eddie whispers indiscreetly back.

"Well I'm sorry, I didn't exactly see you as a expert."Richie counters back."Besides! She's gonna regret you, she hangs around with Henry Bowers."

"Richie shut up and let him ask her."Stan was now interfering.

"This is great, it's like watching a cat fight."Micky whispers to us all.

"I want to Deck Richie."Abby replies to Micky.

"What the hell did I do?"Richie gasps out.

"What didn't you do?"Stan backs up Abby.

At this point Eddie was facepalming at how this was turning out and I just couldn't help the chuckles that escaped me.

"What is even happening right now?"Chloe mutters out to herself.

"I have no idea."Katie replies to her.

"Will you all just shut up!"Eddie finally yells out, silencing them all and earning a few looks from the students passing by.

"Geez, okay spaghetti head."Richie grumbles out.

"Lauren, would you like to go out with me sometime?"Eddie finally asked me.

"I can't wait for Bill to find out about this."Richie laughs out childishly.

"Shut up Richie."All of my friends and Stan say in unison.

"Wow, harsh."Richie grumbles out.

"Uh..."I was put on the spot here, he was adorable but I was like four years older than him."Sure?"

"Wow, really?"He seemed so excited by my answer.

"Holy shit..."Richie mumbles out.

My friends all looked at me, there eyes filled with disbelief at the answer but I just gently shrugged at them all.

"Yeah sure."I said more confidently now.

"Wow! Great... don't tell Bill..."Eddie was now slightly panicking.

"Okay..."I mumble out.

"Hey Chloe, how about you and me--"Richie was quickly cut off by Chloe.

"No."

"Come on... we've got class guys."Stan calls out to the other two.

"Bye!"Eddie exclaims out as Richie pulls him away from us.

In the distance we could faintly hear Richie yelling."This is bullshit!"

"Unbelievable."Micky muttered out to me.

"I think it's kinda cute."Katie gives her opinion.

"Richie looked so peeved."Abby laughs out.

"I don't even care, he's annoying."Chloe chuckles out.

A tap on my shoulder made me turn around, I was met with one of my teachers saddened eyes. He was tall, dark brown wavy hair and chocolate brown eyes that were hidden behind glasses.

"Lauren, your parents are here. There's been an accident at home."His voice was low and mournful.

"What is it? Is it Billy? Is he okay?"I started bombarding him with questions.

"Billy is fine, as far as I'm aware. It's your, younger brother Georgie."His voice was now grave.

I felt a lump grow in my throat and my eyes started to water slightly but I held everything back.

"Is...is he okay?"I hesitantly ask him.

The silence answered my question but I still awaited my answer, I needed to know.

"He's been swept into a stormdrain whilst playing out in the rain. They fear that he may be dead."

"Oh my god..."I overheard my friends mutter out.

All I had to hear was stormdrain and I knew, I knew what had happened and I knew exactly who'd done it. I'd frozen as I tried to take in the news. This was my fault.

This was all my fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments for more!


	5. A long day

"He was just gone. Your neighbour mentioned her cat being spooked by something and there being a pool of blood outside the entrance to the stormdrain."

The police officers continued to talk about what they had found and all I found myself focusing on, was a blank wall. He wanted my attention, it was clear now and if I didn't do what he wanted, he was going to kill those who I loved, which means Billy could be next.

I was so zoned out in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice the police leaving the house until I overhearing Sharon and Zack talking, causing my blue eyes to now focus on the pair.

"What about Billy?"Sharon questioned her husband.

"What about Billy?"Zack countered.

"Who's going to tell him?"Sharon now made herself clearer."Because I just can't."

"He doesn't need to know..."Zack sighed out, clearly still upset.

"He doesn't need to know? Are you fucking serious?"I exclaim, a little louder than I probably should of.

"Excuse me? Mind your language young lady, otherwise you'll get the belt."Zack's voice raised at me."You have no right to have an opinion on this, you haven't been with us for that long and we were his parents."

"I don't care! I really don't fucking care! Use the belt on me! I have no right? It's no surprise Georgie spent all of his time with me and Billy. You both have the nerve to act so saddened over his death when it was only me and Billy who ACTUALLY cared for him! Yeah so what if you were his parents? It doesn't mean you were any good at it!"I practically scream out at him, losing myself in my anger and sadness as tears poured down my face.

"W-W-What's g-g-going on?"Billy's voice sounded from behind me.

I quickly turned to see Billy stood at the bottom of the stairs in his Pyjamas and a dressing gown, he looked a little better but I guess that's going to change now.

"Nothing Billy, go back to bed."Zack tells his son.

"No Billy, I have something to tell you that you parents are trying to hide from you."I spoke up a little louder.

"Don't you dare, you're not in the right to tell him this. You tell him and I swear, you'll be straight out of that door."Zack threatens me.

"I. Don't. Care."My voice was sterner and filled with anger as I stood up to him.

"Y-Y--You're n-n-not throwing h-h-her out."Billy stuttered out badly, all the arguing was effecting his speech.

"Go to your room Bill."Zack raised his voice at Billy.

Billy opened his mouth to speak but then slowly walked back upstairs, he had no idea what was happening but he knew it wasn't good.

"Zack..."Sharon now spoke up, her tone a lot more gentle."Maybe she should tell him."

"You can't be serious?"Zack scoffed out in disbelief."You're taking her side."

"She has a point. Georgie, Billy and Lauren were all very close."Sharon tries to smooth over.

"Fine."Zack growls out as he heads to the kitchen.

Sharon gives me a small nod which I returned as I quickly head up the stairs to Billy's room.

I opened Billy's bedroom door to he greeted by him sat on the edge of the bed, head in his hands, its like he already knew.

"Billy..."My voice was a lot more gentle as I spoke to him.

"I-It's G-G-G-Georgie, isn't it?"Billy spoke up, lifting his gaze so that his chocolate brown eyes could meet mine.

"Yeah..."I mumbled out to him.

"I-I-Is h-h-he--"

"I don't know. Nobody does. He got swept down a stormdrain."

I lied, I had to lie. I couldn't break his heart, I couldn't tell him that a clown probably ate him. I had to lie to him and say what the police had said.

"He's just...missing."

"M-m-missing... w-w-we could t-t-try and find G-G-Georgie... m-m-maybe h-h-he's okay."

That right there, broke my heart. He was so hopefully of his brothers survival, it killed me to know that he was dead.

"Yeah... maybe we could."I agreed anyway, a few tears falling down my face.

I watched as his bottom lip trembled and the tears left his own eyes, falling down his cheeks.

I rushed over and quickly pulled him into a hug, gently stroking his hair and shushing him, I was trying so hard to soothe him but nothing was going to heal the loss of Georgie, no matter how much I tried.

"Want to hear something funny?"I speak up, in attempt to distract Billy's thoughts.

"W-W-What?"He stutters out through his tears.

"Eddie asked me out today."

"H-H-He d-d-did? W-What did you s-s-say?"

This was good, he was going along with it. He probably blamed himself, even though it was my fault.

"I said yes."

"R-r-really?"

"Yeah. Chloe turned down Richie again too."

A small laugh escaped Billy's lips before some more whimpers were then muffled by my shoulder. This was the difference between me and Billy, I was better at hiding my feelings.

"I t-t-think I'm j-j-j-just going to go to s-s-sleep."Billy muttered out as he sat up.

"Me too... I'll see you in the morning Billy."I mutter out as I stand up and head towards the door.

"B-b-bye..."Billy mutters out.

"Bye, love you."

"L-L--Love you t-t-too..."

I head into my room and faceplant onto my bed. It was still late afternoon so the need for sleep shouldn't be this bad but due to being up all night and then all of this with Georgie, I needed it more than ever.

I couldn't stop myself from crying into my pillow but in a strange sense, it helped me because I found myself falling asleep, into a very deep sleep.


	6. Deadlights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trauma and psychological torture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some upsetting scenes

I don't know what's happening to me.

I'd woken up in the middle of the night, a untameable anger brewing within me, I don't know where it's come from all I know is I have this crave for something...

It's almost like I miss something and whatever  it was, it was calling out to me and I'd do anything, ANYTHING, to get to it.

That's how I now found myself stood over Zack and Sharon's bed with a kitchen knife, just staring at them like my whole body was in Idle mode.

That was until what sounded like a walkie talkie being activated sounded behind me, shocking me out of my little trance and causing me to drop the knife to the floor, the metal of the blade thankfully didn't make too much noise on the soft fabric of the carpet.

My blue eyes shifted to check that I hadn't startled the sleeping couple before they landed on the knife on the floor again.

"What is happening to me.."I muttered out to myself.

The walkie talkie sound came from down the hall once again, causing my head to whip to the door, fear slightly brewing inside the pit of my stomach, causing butterflies. Were we being robbed?

With much hesitance, I slowly left my adopted parents room and glanced down the dark, gloomy hall which was vaguely lit by the moonlight and much to my bewilderment, I could see a small silhouette at the top of the stairs.

_"Come on Lauren..."_

A small voice spoke up, causing my breath to hitch in my throat, impossible. A small choked sob left my lips as I covered my mouth in attempt to silence myself.

"Georgie?"I spoke up quietly.

I felt stupid for even saying such thing, was it possible that I was just hallucinating all of this? Or maybe it was just some fucked up dream and I'll wake up tomorrow and the clown, Georgies death and Zack's harshness towards me will have all been in my head.

_"Come with me Lauren."_

One could only hope.

A small childlike giggle left the silhouettes lips and it quickly ran downstairs and straight out of the front door.

Follow or don't follow.

"Georgie wait! Please!"I yell whispered out.

I quickly ran downstairs and straight outside after him, not caring for the fact that I was only wearing my Pyjamas and slippers.

Once outside, I glanced up and down the street in search of Georgie and that's when I saw him.

At the end of the street, it was Georgie. He looked sick with his pale skin and bagged eyes. He was in his little yellow rain coat that he always wore when he went out in the rain. He was holding a little paper boat in his tiny hands.

I covered my mouth as tears poured down my face at the sight of him and a small, sweet smile was given to me from him.

_"Come on!"_

He called again before he took off further down the street, causing me to chase after him without hesitation now.

It felt like I was running for hours by the time I found him again but I didn't just find him anywhere, he was stood outside of that house on Neibolt street.

_"Hurry!"_

He then ran inside of the house, causing my eyes to widen in disbelief, Georgie hated dark and creepy places yet he just willingly ran in there like it was some kind of funhouse.

"Georgie don't go in there!"I exclaimed a little louder than I probably should of.

Fear engulfing me, I took a deep breath and slowly walked up the pathway to the front door, entering through the slightly ajar door.

"Hello?"I called out, feeling slightly stupid afterwards.

The place was riddled with cobwebs on the ceiling and furniture. The smell of damp combined with the smell of a possible dead animal, reached my nose. It was very obvious that nobody had lived here for years.

The door closing behind me and a rat scattering across the floor caused my whole body to jump and flinch in fear. It was only the wind thankfully.

The sight of a yellow raincoat in my peripheral vision caught my attention and caused me to head in that direction.

There he stood, in the darkness of the corner of the room, by a beautiful grande fireplace that had words carved on that I didn't pay enough attention to catch.

"Georgie?"I spoke up softly.

_"You left me.."_

Those words hurt me slightly inside, this was some sick joke right? Or did Georgie really blame me for his death.

"No, Georgie I didn't!"

_"You left me and he took me. You left me to die."_

"No! No I didn't! I wouldn't!"

_"He said I could have my boat back Lauren. He said I could have a balloon. He said he was your friend."_

At this point I was broken, my heart was shattered into pieces and I was having to use the wall to hold myself up.

_"You did this! You killed me! You did it! You did it! You did it! It's all your fault!"_

Broken, choked sobs left my lips as I slid down the wall and curled myself into a ball to try and hide myself from everything that was happening right now, my hands were pulling at clumps of my hair.

_"You killed me like you killed all of those kids! Like you killed your family! You're a monster! A monster! I hate you!"_

"Georgie stop!"I choked out.

_"I loved you! Now I just want to come home!"_

"I love you too and I want nothing more! Please stop this Georgie!"

I slowly lifted my gaze and just in time to see my little adoptive brother disappear into thin air.

"Tasty, Tasty, fear."A voice growled out from the darkness of the room.

I knew exactly who it was, it was that stupid clown again. Of course it was. This clown just wanted to fuck with my head. It wanted to rip away and break those ropes of sanity.

"Leave me alone."I mumbled out from my arms.

"Aw what's the matter?"If it wasn't for the mockery laced voice, you'd think it actually cared."I'm sure it's nothing a good clown can't help with!"

"I told you to leave me alone."I growled out.

"Poor little baby is all angry, upset and most of all scared! Bad Pennywise! Bad!"It almost scolded itself.

I watched as the clown emerged from the shadows, a evil, misleading grin stretched across its cherry lips. My blood began to boil at the sight of him.

"This is ALL your fault!"I suddenly bursted out.

I raised up to my feet, grabbing the closest thing to me which just so happened to be a large plank of wood, for some reason this seemed to send the clown into fits of hysterical laughter.

Once it had calmed down it raised a gloved finger and waggled it, tutting, almost like it was disappointed in me.

"Hoo Hoo! This part is always funny."The clown practically purred out whilst gesturing to the wood."That won't do you any good."

"You did this to me! Why couldn't you have just left me alone!"

Pennywise seemingly titled its head in interest at me before it placed a hand on its chest, feigning shock like a clown would.

"How dare I! Naughty Pennywise!"IT scolds itself once again."Oh wait! No! Good Pennywise! It's bad Lauren! Lauren forgot her job! Lauren forgot what Pennywise raised her--!"

"SHUT UP! JUST, SHUT UP YOU STUPID CLOWN!!"I screamed out, cutting IT off.

The dangerous look that now haunted Pennywise's features terrified me. If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under.

"You've forgotten your place little girl."ITs deep voice was now threatening.

IT took a step towards me, one stride of its were like two of mine. I raised the plank of wood and stood my ground against IT.

"You'll hurt yourself more than me with that."IT growled out at the wood.

"I don't care. Call it stress release for the pain you've caused me!"I spat back.

It's fiery orbs stared down into my eyes before it let out a snort. That did it, using all the strength I had, i swung the plank of wood around and straight into IT's face.

Shock filled me as pain flood through my own face, it felt like I'd just been hit by a car and it knocked me to the floor like roles had been reversed and I'd been the one hit with the plank of wood, tears flooded from my eyes from the pain.

"I told yooou~"IT sang out before letting out a dramatic sigh."You never listen."

I lay on the floor, holding and practically rocking my face as I stared up at the clown in front of me that had now kneeled down in front of me, staring at me intently.

"Do you want the pain to float away?"IT asks me, voice a little more gentle.

I gently nodded at the clown in front of me, I wasn't going to lie. I wanted it all to go away, the emotional and physical pain that I was suffering with.

"Yes! Float!"The clown let out a soft giggle.

I watched with a mixture of fear and awe as his face peeled open to reveal rows after rows of sharp, pointy teeth. It reminded me of something from Primeval or a Goblin Shark when it eats.

Three glowing orbs were in the centre of its mouth, tempting me to touch them. I suddenly felt light headed as I gazed at them, all the pain, fear and sadness seemed to slip away. I felt... emotionless.

The longer I stared into these...Deadlights? The more my mind seemed to fill with memories. Memories from another time, another era. Memories of me with this clown. Memories of this clown taking care of me when I was young.

Memories of me growing up and falling in love with this clown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments for more.


	7. The start of Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small glimps into the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, I'm super ill right now and it sucks!

_December 1812, nobody's POV._

The cold air whipped through the damp smelling wooden shelter that surrounded the well that she was currently hidden in from the English soldiers that were trying to take over Maine.

The sounding of gunfire and bombs could be heard faintly from the distant horizon. The fields were dusted in a white sheet of snow, it matched the almost blue tinted skin of the dark haired girl who huddled in the corner, shivering from both, cold and fear.

Fear had engulfed her, fear of being alone through this and fear of being captured and treated like a slave once again, she'd already had to endure that treatment once before, back in the 17th century and she'd sworn to herself, never again would a man control her and treat her like a worthless piece of meat.

On the bright side, the 1700's were when she got to become Derry's local circus's ring master. The way the people and children seemed to be drawn to the persona, it seemed to spark something in IT, it seemed to inspire him and that's when he decided to take his clown persona. Pennywise The Dancing Clown.

Another shiver snapped her out of her memories, if it was possible, she'd die tonight from pneumonia or Hypothermia but of course, life wasn't that kind. No, in fact she'd just suffer because IT was still alive.

"You smell divine."ITs croaky voice sounded in the air.

IT was awake? But it was too early surly, he should still be in Hibernation. He shouldn't be awake now.

"P-Pennywise?"She shivered out in reply.

I watched as the clown crawled out from the well, his menacing grin on show as well as the bucked teeth.

"Why so blue?"IT almost punned out to me.

"I-I'm f-f-freezing."She stuttered out in response.

"Then why are you out here? In the cold?"IT growled out, clearly not amused with her stupidity."Are you trying to kill yourself? You do realise that you're not immune to illness. This is exactly why humans will never meet my superiority."

"No need for the narcissism Pennywise, I'm not suicidal, what would even be the point if I was? I can't die."The girl counters him back.

Her icy blue eyes flickered up to meet IT's fiery amber gaze, he wasn't amused with her response so after shivering again, she decided to explain just why she was out in the freezing cold weather.

"There's a camp of English soldiers over the hills, they're trying to take over Maine. They're not exactly treating the residents of Derry with much respect and I don't even want to say what they're doing with the women."

A mischievous glint could now be seen in the clowns eyes at her word, if there was one thing that Pennywise was possessive over, it was this girl.

**Lauren's POV**

_Present time._

History class, boring. It used to appeal to me but now I couldn't help but realise just how wrong it all was. It had been a few weeks since the death of Georgie and me and Bill were now back in school, the sympathy looks from everyone were even more annoying than Henry who wouldn't stop poking me with a pencil.

"Knock it off Bowers before I shove that pencil down your throat."I grumbled out angrily.

Bowers let out a scoff at my words which quickly earned him a warning glare from the teacher.

I noticed, Chloe, Michael, Katie and Abby all looking at me from across the class, I'd distanced myself from my friends for obvious reasons but to them, they'd just assumed I was still grieving, which I was.

"The consumption, also known as Tuberculosis was and still is very dangerous to us people. Luckily, the cure was found in 1882."The history teacher spoke up.

  
My brows furrowed in confusion at her words before I slowly raised my hand, earning her attention.

"What is it Lauren?"

"You do realise that you're incorrect, right?"I speak up to her.

The class turned their attention to me, some gasped dramatically at the fact I'd called the teacher out, which the teacher obviously didn't like, you could tell by her fuming facial expression.

"I can assure you, I'm not. I've studied topics such as these, over and over again."The teacher informs me in attempt to defend herself.

"Then obviously you're a bad studier or maybe you're just outright stupid. Tuberculosis was first named and identified in 1882, March 24th to be exact by a man named Robert Koch but a remedy that didn't actually work was invented by the same man in 1890 and that was called tuberculin. The remedy for immunity wasn't actually discovered until 1906 but it wasn't used on humans until France, 1921. There, you've just learned something."

The class and teacher fell silent and luckily enough for the teacher, before she had to say anything in attempt to defend her pride once again, the bell rang, signalling the end of the day.

As I was packing my stuff up, Patrick Hockstetter made his way over to myself and Henry.

"Hey beautiful, you still coming to the Halloween fair tonight?"

He reached his hand out to touch my cheek and he quickly earned a scowl from me.

"Touch me and I'll break your wrist."I warned in a dark tone.

Since my memories had come back, I'd hated people touching me, even Billy. The only person I didn't mind going near me was the clown, not that I'd seen much of him lately.

"You just got told Patrick."Henry laughs out at him.

I watched as my friends left the class, a small scowl had come from Chloe which I guessed I'd deserved.

"Yes, I'll be coming to the fair. Just look out for a clown and I'm sure you'll find me."

Before they could answer, I'd thrown my bag over my shoulder and took off for the class exit.

Once outside I'd bumped into Chloe, Billy, Eddie, Richie and Stan. I'd hoped to just walk past them but unfortunately Billy had grabbed my arm.

"What?"I sighed out at him.

"W-W-Where are y-y-you going?"Billy questioned me.

"Out to get some things ready for the fair tonight."I answered him honestly.

"H-H-Have w-we done something w-w-wrong?"Billy questioned me.

"No..."I muttered out to him.

"Then why are you avoiding us?"Eddie now spoke up.

"I'm not."I lied to them.

"Bullshit."Richie spoke up.

"Shut up four eyes."I bite back.

"See! The old you would have never said something like that!"Chloe now exclaims at me."Something is wrong with you."

"Want to know what's wrong?"I now raise my voice at the group."Georgie's gone. Part of my family is gone. Now let me mourn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments for more and I'll try to keep writing through my illness.


	8. A Halloween to remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone dies at the fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the dark scenes. Themed for Halloween of course!

Costume, check. Makeup, check. Murderous plan to satisfy the evil clown, check.

It felt so wrong to be even thinking about doing something like this but at the same time it felt almost right.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror for a few moments. That's when I was hit with a realisation, the life I thought I'd had was a lie all along, I'd always been a completely different person, a person that only comes alive for a year every 27 years.

"L-L-Lauren."Billy stuttered out from the doorway, thankfully he wasn't going to this stupid fair.

"Yes?"I responded in a nonchalant tone.

"I-I-I'm worried a-a-about you."Billy informs me, his voice tone proved his statement.

I slowly, turned around to gaze at him, an eyebrow raised at him in wonder before I offered him an almost mischievous smirk.

"I'm fine Billy."I say in attempt of reassurance.

"Y-Y-You're going to the fair a-a-as a c-c-clown."He manages to stutter out.

I stand up, giving a small twirl to show off my outfit that I was sporting, it was an all in one harlequin clown costume, the waist had small flaps that were similar to a skirt, the left leg was black and white stripes whilst the right leg was black and white diamonds. On the torso, the left side were black and white diamonds whilst the right side were black and white strips, opposing the legs. Around my collar, I wore a frilly white neck ruffle that had bells, attached to the tips that jingled whenever I moved, I had matching frilly cuffs.

My hair was worn up, in high pigtails, a black ribbon holding up the left pigtail and a white ribbon holding up the right pigtail.

The makeup, started off as the basic white painted clown face with black painted lips that stretched out into thin lines going half way up my cheeks on either side, almost like a scarred grin. On my right eye, there was a painted diamond over the eye and around it, under the left eye there was a painted black tear, similar to the makeup of a pierrot clown.

"Pretty cool huh? Wanna see my weapon that I've bought?"I perk up, now slightly excited.

"W-W-Weapon?"Billy muttered out, clearly confused.

"Uh huh!"I hum out as I head across my bedroom."It's for show, obviously but either way it's pretty cool."

I pull out a swirly styled white a black painted wooden mallet from under my bed.

"W-W-What is that?"Billy questions me.

"It's a mallet."I deadpan."Think of it as a heavy hammer that clowns use."

"I've never seen a clown with a mallet before."Billy manages to say without stuttering.

"Then you've never been to an awesome circus before."I counter him with a smirk on my lips.

"Y-Y-You've n-n-never been to the c-c-circus either."Billy recalls, confusion filling his features.

I open my mouth to say something but I quickly close it again, I mean I was once the ring master but that was in the 1700s so I can't exactly say that.

"You're right but I'm allowed to dream, okay?"I sass out with a faked scowl.

"W-W-Well, enj-j-oy your fair."Billy mutters out as he turns to leave the room.

I sit there for a few moments before I stand up with a heavy sigh, heading out to this stupid fair.

Once I got there, I saw loads of rides had been put up. There were stalls selling cotton candy, popcorn and corn dogs. The smells mingled in the air, making you almost able to taste the sugary and tasty goods.

"You came!"I overheard my friends exclaim, shocking me out of my little trance.

"Nice costume."Katie compliments.

"You look..."Abby started whilst raising a hand, emphasising herself."Psychotic."

"Agreed."Michael agrees with her.

"You actually suit the clown look."Chloe compliments.

"Whoa, You look well freaky..."Emily mumbles out.

I turned around to be met by Emily, Henry Bowers and Patrick Hocksetter, once I turned back, I'd noticed that my friends had now left the scene, they were particularly fans of this lot.

Emily, was joined by Leah. Both were the type of bitches you wanted to murder upon first sight, they thought they were better than everyone else and often tried to prove that theory by bullying everyone else. They powered themselves in makeup and always attempted to make themselves look... well, like they'd smashed a pie on their face. They tended to be frequently seen hanging around with Greta Keene and her goons.

"Anyway, we were about to play a crazy game, what do you say babe?"Henry informs me.

"Tell me the rules and I'll give you an answer."I respond rather quickly.

"Just a game, in the woods near the kissing bridge."Patrick responds for him.

"I don't think I was talking to you but whatever I guess."I mutter out in response.

"Ew, isn't that where that faggot died a few years back?"Leah responded.

"Adrian Mellon."I correct her quickly."It was in 1962. Twenty seven years ago. He was bullied by homophobics and thrown off the bridge. He had a thing for the band I ♥️ Derry."

The group fall silent and stare at me for a few moments before Henry speaks up.

"You've become a real history geek lately."

"Well I'd rather be a smartass than a dumbass like you."I sass out with a smirk on my painted lips."Now come on, let's go."

"I'm not going there, screw that."Leah backs out quickly.

"Suit yourself."I careless respond to her.

I start off towards the bridge, I knew what the boys had in mind unfortunately for them, I was one step ahead in that department.

Once we'd arrived at the bridge, the boys stopped me and Emily, before whispering a few things to each other.

"Okay, we've gotta go and get the car. You girls wait here."Henry instructs us.

"Hurry up."Emily orders them.

I watched as the boys walked off up the hill and a smirk grew on my features as my grip on the mallet tightened.

"Hey, I gotta question for ya Em."

I turned to stand in front of the girl, moving to rest the mallet on shoulder as I stared at her.

"What?"She sighed out heavily.

"What are you afraid of? Like what are ya really afraid of?"

"Why do you want to know?"She counters me, bitchiness lacing her tone.

"Because I don't like you and you're my first victim this year. Ya see, I have a list in mind and you're on the top of it."I reply back honestly, voice slightly darkening.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh remember the gay guy? Yeah well, you see, me and my friend killed him. Right here, ironically at a fair."I muttered out in response.

Emily scoffed at me, here she goes with that over confident attitude again.

"You're crazy, that was twenty six years ago or something. It's impossible. You'd be like forty or something."

"Actually, it is possible. I'd explain how but your little mind wouldn't be able to comprehend the knowledge so instead, I'll just prove it by pointing out, that."

I roughly grabbed her by the back of her hair and forced her to look over the bridge towards what IT was disguised as at the bottom of a twenty three foot drop into shallow water. IT was disguised as her greatest fear which, I should've really guessed what it was. She saw, an older, uglier, fatter, pimple ridden, saggy version of herself.

"See that?"I growled down her ear.

She let out a hair standing scream of fear at the sight before her. The fear was what I needed, it's what IT liked from its victims.

"Wanna meet it?"I whispered down her ear.

"No! No! No! Let me go! Please, I'll do anything."She whimpered out, trying to frantically wriggle away from me.

A high pitched and menacing chuckle escaped my lips at the sound of her begging.

"Oh please let me go!"I mock out to her."Newsflash whore! I'm not one for sentiment."

And without another thought, I push her swiftly over the wooden barrier of the bridge, listening to the sound of her bones cracking against the rocks, she was still alive once she'd hit the bottom, I could tell once I heard her terror filled shrieks fill the air.

I watched as now Clown glanced up at me as I leaned my arms on The wooden fencing of the barrier.

"Yeah, ya welcome babes, enjoy."I chuckled out to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments for things to get darker.


	9. A look into the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of Lauren's job in the 1700's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still ill so my muse is suffering with it.

** Nobody's POV **

Humanity is a funny thing, it's like a light switch, just one little flick of your finger and POOF! Bye bye care!

That's what had happened to Lauren, after her memories had started coming back, the more things that she'd realised she'd done over the years. She'd learned to see herself as a merciless killer, that needed to kill in order for herself and Pennywise to thrive and boy did it work for them.

The complications that came a long with them, was the envy. That big green demon, that burns inside of us all when it comes to something we may be possessive of.

Lauren didn't need to be envious when it came to Pennywise, she knew where his priorities lay, the most she'd have to worry about was him losing control and eating her one day, but Pennywise, Pennywise was the worst for envy, he was extremely possessive when it came to his little human girl, who wouldn't be after spending centuries with someone?

In the mid 1700's Lauren had become a hit in Derry's circus as a RingMaster, the seductress who kept everyone interested in the show, she'd been doing it for months but on one show in particular, it was strictly for the kids. Lauren and Pennywise called it their grand finale.

Her ringmaster outfit consisted of a red and black laced corset dress, her hair would be tied back into a tight bun and a black hat would rest on her head. Her face would be painted white like that of a clowns, her baby blue eyes would be decorated by black sparkly eye paint and her lips would be a painted black smile that would stretch up her cheeks.

She would carry around a cane of sorts, the handle was made of a stone of gold whilst the rest was made of the most expensive kind of wood.

"Hello children! For one night only, I have a very special guest for all you boys and girls!"Her voice rang through the small tent on the outer skirts of Derry.

It was a small set up, with a few acrobats, clowns and horses. The tent itself wasn't overly large, big enough to fit at least 30 people in. Light wasn't invented till 1879 so it wasn't as colourful as the current day circus's.

Today the tent was occupied by 7 of the town's children.

"Who here likes clowns?"She called out to the children.

There was a string of "I do!"s throughout the crowd of children, in the 1700's there was very little need to fear a clown.

"You do? Why! So do I!"

A menace filled chuckle escaped the girl's lips as the build up of the finale started to give her a small adrenaline rush.

"How many of you like magic?"

Another string of "I do!"s escaped the crowds, childish giggles escaped the  children's current beloved RingMaster, this was all going in her favour!

"And who likes hide and seek?"

Another repeat of answers just like the other two questions the girl had asked them.

"Now! I have a very fun game to play! That is... if you guys wanna play a game with little ol' me..."

A string of gasps escaped the children's lips at her suggestion, you could feel the excitement of the children swirling in the air and bouncing off the tent walls.

"We want to play!" All the kid's yelled.

"Oh goodie!"The RingMaster exclaimed.

The girl did a small jump in excitement at the answers that rang through the tent. The girl flicked her cane around in her hand before she did a small twirl.

"Now kids, don't tell your parents otherwise you'll all get into a lot of trouble but we have to go down to the well to search for the Magic clown."

The kids now fell silent, uncertainty filling the air at the RingMasters words. This didn't feel right to the children.

"No need to worry! It'll be fun! He's got everything you could ever dream of! Candy, chocolate, sausages..."

The girl practically purred out to the children who were now practically drooling at the thought of all of that sugar and food.

"He also has this reaaaaallly cool magic trick! He can make you float!"

The kids gasped in excitement about the magic trick. The unsettling smirk that crossed the girl's features, showed her true hidden evil and the dark intentions that came with that, something that the children didn't see.

"Come little children!"The girl coaxed.

She gestured her hand which held the cane out to the tents back exit. The kids all rushed down from the stands and followed the RingMaster, the RingMaster who was leading the children to their imminent death.

The well slowly came into view, fog lurked around it in the darkness of the ominous scene, giving the children a bad feeling but with the fear that had suddenly hit them, gave them the feeling that they couldn't turn back on their own.

"Welcome! Children! Now, one at a time, head down the well and follow the music!"

The girl instructs, they of course follow her instructions and one by one, they went down the well, landing in the smelly sewage water at the bottom.

Once the RingMaster herself had reached the bottom, she worked with the children, following the sound of the music box, the music box that she'd listened to through her whole childhood.

Soon enough they arrived at the correct place, her eyes lit up at the sight of the giant trailer.

"Step right up! Step right up! I now announce to you, Pennywise The Dancing Clown!"

Lauren cheered out once she was stood in front of the trailer that had blood red curtains covering it, surely enough the curtains opened, revealing the terrifying looking dancing clown.

His amber eyes landed on the now terrified children and Lauren slowly moved to close the giant iron like doors, to stop the children from escaping from the hungry clown.

"Time to float."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments for more.


	10. A/N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a update to let people know what's going on!

Okay, so a a lot of you are probably wondering if I'm continuing this and the answer is yes, yes I am. I've been extremely busy with assignment work at college, I've also been trying to update some of my other popular works and I've been ill and in pain with a back problem that I have. I have started the next chapter and I hope to get it up soon. I hope you all understand and don't hate me for the wait.


	11. A tattoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the tension between Lauren and Pennywise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! My writing muse has been incredibly low when it comes to everything, not just this. I've just been so tired, depressed and busy.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this though!

** Lauren's POV **

"You do realise that Derry isn't the same as it used to be, right?"I spoke up from my place next to the fireplace.

The clown in front of me was latched onto a child's face, a low growl emitted from the back of its throat.

"Remember how close we were to being caught 60 years ago?"I spoke up a little louder, hating it when it ignored me and refused to answer.

I watched as it's rows of teeth and flesh detached from the young dead boys face and molded to hide back behind its clown features, it's amber eyes continued to remain on me, keeping that predatory look, danger still very much evident in its blood covered, pale complexed skin.

"We..."It spoke whilst taking exaggerated steps towards me, gesturing between the both of us in the process.

"Are better than those pathetic meat sacks..."It's voice was low, all signs of playfulness gone."We always win, yes we do!"

I kept my confident stance, it towered over me and stood only a few centimetres in front of me, playfulness stayed in my eyes.

"I'm offended, I am one of those pathetic meat sacks."I mock being offended, placing a hand on my heart as I flickered my eyes up at it.

IT's eyes darkened as they continued to stare me down, a smirk was soon evident on its features.

"No you're not."IT growled out down to me."Otherwise you'd smell tastier."

IT turned to walk back to its meal and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at IT.

"I'd say I am pretty damn tasty to some people."I chuckle out to myself as I watch it.

IT crouched back down to the dead child on the floor, the one I'd recently led here. Her name was Betty Ripson. I'd been pretending to be her friend for a few weeks, eventually I'd gained her trust and now she's nothing more than a corpse.

"You're growing too fond of them..."It growls out lowly.

"I'm not..."I whisper out, attempting to lie to it and myself.

A dark chuckle leaves the interdimenional being, a chuckle that sent shivers down my spine. It stood himself up and slowly made its way towards me once again.

I slowly backed away from it, my eyes casted down to the floor, submitting under its dominating gaze as it corners me against the wall.

A rough grab of my chin and it forced me to look up into his dangerous red rimmed amber eyes. It's head moves so that it's nose and mouth were right beside my ear.

"I've known you since you were two years old Lauren. Do. Not. Lie. To. ME."IT's voice growls out.

I gulped from fear that it was going to bite into me at any moment but that moment never came.

"There's that tasty smell..."IT almost purred out against my neck.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding as an almost pleasant shiver rippled down my spine.

"I've got to go to school... it's the last day and all..."I whispered out in attempt to get it to back up a little.

Suddenly, almost like a bloodhound it was sniffing me, a throaty growl emitting from it.

"Something is different on you."IT speaks lowly.

Without any care in the world, It lifted my top as if it was absolutely nothing to find a Joker playing card tattoo on the waistline of my left hip.

"What is this? You were not born like this, human."Pennywise seemed genuinely confused by this."This is not how your form was last time I saw it."

I quickly bat its hands away as I pull my shirt back down to cover myself back up.

"It's a tattoo... like a drawing."I attempt to explain to it.

"I was not aware that you were now a child's colouring book."Pennywise commented, confusion still evident.

"That's not what that is. I'm not a colouring book. My friends were getting them so I decided to get in on it. Patrick and Henry said it was cool and I didn't want to look like a coward like all the other girls."I explain to it, not that it mattered.

"Patrick and Henry..."Pennywise spoke with an unreadable tone.

Pennywise then did the strangest thing, IT leaned down to where the tattoo was and let his tongue run over it, the action alone sent my mind and body haywire due to the location of the tattoo and I couldn't help but jolt back away from IT, watching IT's dark gaze land back on me once again, closing in the gap once again.

"Yes... now as I said before, I have school."I mutter out to it.

Since he didn't move to stop me, I quickly moved to make my escape from where he'd cornered me. God, it was always so intense around him these days, he was so possessive. It's not like the other past centuries.

"Who is are these humans to you?"Pennywise suddenly questions me.

Pennywise's amber gaze had returned to their baby blues, it almost seemed like it was hiding something behind the innocence of the blueness.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips, it didn't look like I was going to be heading to school anytime soon with Pennywise's persistent questioning, not that I really wanted to go to school.

"They're nothing to me really, Patrick always tries to flirt with me to try his luck but other than that, I don't care much for them."

My words were very much true, I couldn't lie to Pennywise anyway, due to the bond between us, the one thing that had kept me alive for all of these years. It prohibits me from hiding anything from it, the same with it to me.

"And what of the others?"Pennywise questions once again.

I felt my heart slightly sink at that question, my head lowering in submission as I felt a small amount of hurt build inside at the thought of what Pennywise would do to them.

I heard it's footsteps growing closer to me as a growl escaped its lips, Pennywise knew and that wasn't good.

"Pathetic, I give you one task in your life. One task to not feel for those humans and what do you do? Haven't you learnt anything from last time?"

I felt the clown tower over me as I kept my head bowed, eyes hooked on the dirty wooden floor instead of looking up into Pennywise's anger filled Amber eyes.

"You wipe my memories Pennywise, I completely forget who you are! How can you expect me to keep a promise when I don't remember a thing about it?"

Pennywise mustn't of liked my tone as it wasn't long later than my chin was roughly getting gripped and forced up to meet his gaze.

"I'll tell you this once Lauren. Turn your feelings off, or else..."

"Or else what? I'll end up like her?"

My eyes left Pennywise's to cast over the slowly decaying corpse of Betty Ripson before they flicked back to meet its own. IT had leaned in that close that I could smell and practically taste the iron from the blood that stained it's mouth.

"I think you forget our connection, whatever you do to me, you do to yourself."I remind it in a slightly darkened tone of my own.

It was like Pennywise didn't entirely understand the concept of personal space anymore, IT never really got this close and invasive of my personal space but since it had come back...

"I could never eat you."IT growled out, sounding almost offended by the suggestion.

In an absent minded manner, my hand extended to gently cup the clown's cheek, watching as it basically flinched at the touch, its gaze predatory as it stared into my eyes with its captivating Amber eyes.

"Just don't forget what happened last time~"ITs voice was practically sang the words.

Suddenly it released me and rushed back to its meal, leaving me stood there, remembering what happened last time all too well. Pennywise's jealously and possessiveness meant I was never allowed to love or care for anyone other than IT.

"You're late for school~"The clown almost teased out.

Without another word, I turned on my heel to leave. That clown knew how to play my mind around, besides IT had been doing it for centuries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments for more.


	12. Who cares?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes people change for other peoples sakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update, busy and Ill so my muse for anything isn't the best.

** Lauren's POV **

_***Memory of October 13th 1673*** _

My lungs burnt whenever I tried to breath, my body fatigued and weak as I lay drenched in sweat in a rather uncomfortable bed.

It all started with a sudden loss of appetite. Then came the cough, along with the fever, the fever grew worse causing me to have night sweats and chills, it wasn't long after that came the blood in my coughs.

The doctor had diagnosed me with the consumption and I was now lay in isolation to avoid me contaminating anyone else.

I was dying in the worst way possible, it was slow, painful and lonely.

"Tch, Tch, Tch... what do we have here?"A demonic, deep voice spoke up.

No... it couldn't be IT, I hadn't seen it since I was at least sixteen. I must be hallucinating.

Soon enough, the appearance of the male came into view, kneeling by my bedside and watching me with a fiery Amber gaze.

IT's appearance was the same as when I'd very first seen him, sickly grey skin, fiery Amber sucken eyes with noticeable bags underneath them. Prominent cheek bones, Dark messy hair, matching the dirty dark clothes it wore. Extremely tall with excellent posture and extremely thin considering how much It eats.

All in all, considering how disfigured IT was, IT'd pass off as a handsome human male.

"Bob Gray..."My barely audible raspy voice spoke up after I'd managed to gather as much strength as I had left, even managing to make surprise of his appearance still evident.

I called him by the name which he'd grown up telling me to call him, although I was pretty certain that wasn't his real name.

An eyebrow of his raised out of amusement to my reaction, a sly grin now stretching across his lips.

"Hello Lauren."His Dark voice almost purred out.

I didn't respond, it's not that I didn't want to respond, I just couldn't. All I could do was simply stare at him, I was in too much of a fragile and weak state to even do anything, I couldn't move, speak...I was powerless.

His brows furrowed at me, all signs of his playfulness gone as he noticed my lack of strength. One of his grey hands reached up to feel my forehead, my eyes weakly watched as his own filled with an unknown emotion.

"You're dying."He states in a low voice."You don't have long left."

If I had any strength left, I would've made some sort of sarky comment on the fact he'd only just realised that but I couldn't, all I could do was simply stare at him.

"I am here to offer you something."

**_*Reality*_ **

The sound of the school bell snapped me out of my memories and back into the English classroom where everyone was packing their stuff back up.

It was weird thinking back to a time when Pennywise wasn't constantly being a clown, when he was actually serious all of the time. It didn't seem as fun.

"Last lesson over! Finally! Summer break time!"Chloe exclaimed from beside me.

"Uh huh..."I muttered out.

I started rushing to pack my things away carelessly before slinging my bag over my shoulder and started to walk off without her.

"Whoa, where are you going?"Chloe called after me.

I glanced back over to her, noticing how Abby and Michael had also rushed their way over to join the following parade I had going.

"I'm... I have to meet someone, I gotta go."I made up some sort of excuse quickly.

"You're being so weird lately."Michael muttered out.

"So what? Who cares?"I counter back.

"We do?"Abby spoke up, although she sounded like she wasn't sure about the answer herself.

A roll of my eyes was given before I continued to start walking off, although Chloe still seemed to be following after me.

Once we were outside of school, my eyes landed on a woman who seemed to be an absolute mess, she made me stop right in my tracks and almost freeze. I watched her, scanning all of the kids and teens who came out of the school, she was searching for someone.

"Poor woman..."Chloe commented from beside me.

I could feel Chloe's eyes burning holes into the side of my head as she spoke, my mouth opened to ask something but it was almost like she knew the question I was going to ask.

"It's Betty Ripson's mum."

My eyes quickly left the woman as I felt a pang of guilt start to build up inside of me.

I can't feel...

I can't feel...

"Oh. Whatever."I muttered out, shrugging it off."Who cares."

"What?"Chloe's voice was laced with disbelief but I just simply ignored it.

I just started walking away from Chloe and continuing my journey away from her and to my own destination, I needed to split from everyone, for their own good and for mine.

** Chloe's POV **

My mouth hung open in disbelief as I watched her walk away like it was nothing, like Betty Ripson's life meant nothing. What the hell was wrong with her?

"Huh...she's becoming even more of a bitch than usual."Michael spoke up from beside me.

I'd actually forgotten those guys were with me.

Overhearing some commotion coming from nearby, my gaze flicked over to see Henry and his dick's for friends just walking away from giving Bill, Eddie, Richie and Stan some crap.

Turning in their direction, I started walking over to them. If anyone was bound to know what was going on with her, it was Bill.

"Oh hey Chloe, we were just you know, loving the floor?"Richie attempted to play it off as cool but seemed to be questioning what he was saying himself.

"Smooth."Abby mutters out to herself.

"Yeah, okay, whatever Richie. Bill, what's going on with Lauren?"I quickly get straight to the point.

"W-What?"Bill sounded very confused.

"She's even more emotionless than usual."Michael explains for me.

"I'm sure it's nothing personal, I mean, she's always been a complete evil bitch."Richie pops up once again.

Bill, Eddie and myself all shot Richie a glare at that comment, I opened my mouth to say something hurtful in response to him but...

"Shut up dude."Eddie speaks up.

"Well she did just say, "who cares." To the fact Betty Ripson's mum is here."Abby now speaks up.

"Maybe she's hiding her grief?"Stan suggests.

Silence falls amongst us all for a moment before Bill finally breaks it.

"I-I-I could try to t-t-talk to her...Maybe everything about Betty is reminding her of G-G-Georgie going m-m-missing."


	13. A warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can she really be who IT needs her to be again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter so soon?
> 
> I know, I'm back on a roll aren't I?

**Lauren's POV**

My original plan was to pay Pennywise a visit but something inside, something deep down was telling me that it was a very bad idea, so when it came to the intersection, I took my original walk home, avoiding Neibolt street at all costs.

All whilst I walked home, I couldn't stop my mind from wondering. Who was I kidding? All of the other times, things were different. I never had loving friends, I never had people to care about... well, I did but that was a one time thing which ended as soon as IT woke up.

This time it was different. There was Bill, Eddie, Stan, Chloe, Abby, Michael... hell, there was even Richie!

I'd already lost Georgie and that had already killed me, I couldn't bare to lose anyone else and I know that IT could feel everything everything that I did right now and that was probably infuriating IT.

Coming to a stop outside of the house which I was currently staying in with the Denbrough's, I noticed the absence of Bill's bike, Silver. It was strange, after all of my years being alive, I'd never actually stayed with a family as a daughter. I'd been in orphanages, been used as a slave, been a circus ring master, hell, I even worked in the Kitchener ironworks as a peasant in the 1900's...but the less about that, the better.

Opening the front door to my current residence, I was greeted by nothing but the sound of the TV playing the in front room. Now, I was afraid the longer I'd spend home alone, the more my thoughts would start to take over and I'd have to face a rather harsh reality that I was probably going to have to choose.

"Lauren? Is that you?"Sharon's voice rang through the house.

"Yeah... Yeah, it's me."I called back softly.

Dumbing my bag by the stairs, I made my way to the kitchen where her voice had come from, finding her stood over the cooker stirring something, her brown eyes gently casted up to look my way, her lips offering a kind smile.

"Is Bill not home yet Sharon?"I questioned her once she'd looked my way.

"No, not yet. Zack's in the garage working...Did you not see him at school?"Sharon questions me curiously, her eyes focused on me and riddled with concern. At least she knew better than to refer to Zack as my father.

"At lunch I did... I was really in the mood to hang around with anyone today though."I say as some attempt of reassurance.

That wasn't exactly a lie, very true in fact, since IT's return, I haven't really been in the mood to be around anyone.

"Whys that?"Concern still seemed to lace her tone.

Almost as if on cue, I overheard the neighbours dogs start barking, indicating to me that my male best friend who's basically my brother but not really was finally home, causing my eyes to avert to the direction of the sound.

"It doesn't matter... Bill's home!"I exclaimed in hopes of changing the subject.

As quick as possible, I rushed to escape the kitchen and headed towards the garage door but I stopped, I could overhear a conversation.

"The Barrens...I-I-It's th-the only place th-tha-that Georgie could've ended up."

I could heard a voice that was evidently Bill's from the stutter, there was no mistaking that.

"He's gone Bill."

And that was Zacks.

"But if the storm swept G-Ge-Georgie in then we sh-should of gone-"

"HES GONE! HES DEAD! HES DEAD, THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO. NOTHING."

The sudden silence from Bill broke my heart, I didn't even need to see his face. I just knew from the silence on his end that Zack had just broken him by saying those words.

"Now take this down before your mother sees it."

I gently pulled the handle of the door down and peeked my eyes through the door, seeing Bill's watery eyes at Zack's yelling.

"Next time you want to take something from my office, ask."

Zack finished off, leaving Bill alone and going out of the other door to the outside of the garage. I couldn't help the guilt that built up inside of me at that whole argument, I mean... I was partially to blame for Georgie death... even if I didn't want Georgie to get hurt.

"Guess you get your tunnels back.."I heard Bill say to our hamster.

My gaze, now saddened lowered to the wooden floor beneath me. How was I supposed to be able to walk in there and face him, I wanted nothing more than to hug him, express how sorry I was... do anything to apologise for hurting him so much but I just... I couldn't.

"L-L-Lauren?"

My gaze whipped up, noticing Bill looking at me through the crack of the door, paralysing me in place for a brief moment as I met his still slightly watery grey orbs.

Turning around, I moved to rush upstairs to my room not saying a word in response as I fled to my room, slamming the door shut in the process and imprisoning away from anyone who may want to speak to me.

"Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time and take back things I've said..."I mutter out to myself, through deep breathes."And things I've done..."

Sliding down my bedroom door, I just sat, staring at the blank wall in front of me. There's so much history of this town and quite a lot of it, I was the cause of.

The Easter egg hunt incident in 1906. That was my fault. The solider massacre of 1812. Once again, my fault. The circus murder of the mid 1700's. My fault. Adrian Mellon, 1962 incident. All me. The great Derry fire of 1673. Definitely me, that one was fun.

Curling my legs up into my chest, I let my forehead fall and rest on my kneecaps as I took deep breaths trying to calm myself down, this was all too much.

Shit... the newspapers and records in the library...

"Lau-L-Lauren."Billy's voice snapped me out of my thoughts from the other side of the door.

"Yeah?"I called back, trying to hide any emotion from my tone.

Gazing up from my lap, I saw the white, frilly bottoms of pants that belonged to the very being I'd been trying to avoid, but I mean... you can't avoid something which is quite literally bound to you.

"M-M-Mum wants to know if you're hun-hungry."His voice still spoke from the other side of the door.

Slowly, I raised up to my feet, making sure to keep my weight on the door so that Bill couldn't get in. My blue orbs were now meeting the rather displeased gaze of Pennywise whom was currently towering over my form, IT's golden eyes filled with danger as I noticed an eyebrow of IT's had now raised at me, almost questioning.

"I'm not hungry.."I responded without breaking eye contact with IT.

"Oh... Oh-Okay."

It wasn't long after Bill's response that I could hear the sound of his footsteps going back downstairs to join the family meal which I was going to be skipping out on.

"You're not supposed to be here."I whispered out to IT.

A dark chuckle emitted from its lips at that as he watched my smaller form almost protectively guard the door, as if that would stop him in any way.

"What's that I smell? Fear~ Are you afraid I'll hurt your little B-B-Billy boy?"IT's tone was laced with mockery.

"That's not funny."

"Your feelings aren't funny."

"Yeah well it's different when they're directed at you, isn't it?"My tone was harsh, almost as if I'd snapped at IT. Something I should know better than to do.

All the playfullness in IT's demeanour had gone, now its eyes seemed to be filled with Fury towards my little comment, feelings were something Pennywise didn't like to joke about.

Grabbing me by my throat harshly and quite literally lifting me up off of my feet and into the air above IT's own form, I found myself struggling for breath but I remained fearless, IT couldn't and wouldn't kill me anyway.

"What have I told you? Don't get attached because they're my food~"IT's voice was a singsong tone, playful unlike IT's features.

"But they're my friends."I barely managed to get out.

"But they're my friends~"He copied, mockingly."I suggest you stop unless you want Billy boy ending up like Georgie."

That comment right there made my blood boil with rage, how did I once love this... this... monster. Then again, I never really had an alternative.

"You won't fucking touch him."I growled, a little more audible now.

"Oooh~ you're fighting me! How tasty! Yet... silly! Silly, silly Lauren."IT's mocking tone almost lectured me.

Wriggling, I attempted to get free from IT's grip, only fueling IT's amusement all the more, causing giggles of glee to leave IT's red painted lips.

"I think it's time for Little Lauren to go nighty night now, don't you?"

It was a rhetorical question of course and it wasn't long later that I felt that grip around my neck from the silken glove tighten in a suffocating manner, darkness started to invade my vision and not long later...

Everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and comments for more.


	14. Chapter 12 : Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams, memories and real life realisations begin to settle in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG, I MOVED AND WAS SUPER BUSY WITH COLLEGE WORK.

_***Dream/memory*** _

"Georgie~"My voice was almost chastising.

Little Georgie was supposed to be asleep half an hour ago but here he was, bouncing up and down on the bed, refusing to sleep.

Me and Bill were currently babysitting and I was probably the worst babysitter ever, I'd gotten myself and Bill pretty drunk and Georgie wouldn't sleep because I'd given him too much sugar.

"Come on Lauren! Sing to me! Pleaaaaaaase~"Georgie giddily whined out as he finally flopped down onto the bed.

"Nooooooo~"I countered back, mimicking his whine which only encouraged his childish giggles.

"Why not!"Georgie exclaimed out once his giggles had briefly calmed down for a moment.

"Because you were supposed to be in bed half an hour ago!"

"So?!?"

"So I'm going to get into trouble and you don't want that do you?"

A sigh left Georgie's lips as he slipped his way under the covers of his bed, laying himself down and getting comfy.

"No...I guess not!"His squeaky voice spoke up, causing me to gasp dramatically.

"You guess huh? My, my! You offend me good sir!"My words caused Georgie to burst into a fit of giggles all over again.

"No! I mean I don't!"Georgie quickly perks up to defend himself from my teasing.

A smile crossed my lips as I gazed down at the young child, leaning down, I placed a gentle kiss on the child's forehead.

"Go to sleep."I instruct the child.

"Okay...goodnight Lauren and thank you for the sweets."The sweet boy spoke up to me.

"No problem goofball, G'night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite."

I'd stood up and already begun to take my leave of the child's room when I heard him speak up once again.

"There are no bed bugs!"

This only caused me to laugh to myself at his sweet innocence.

"Hey, you never know Georgie! But, if they do grab a shoe and hit them till their black and blue!"

This caused the sweet boy to let out a chorus of laughter, something which never failed to brighten my day.

"You're funny!"The child exclaimed.

"Shhh, go to sleep!"I shushed whilst closing the door over.

"Goodnight!"I heard him call out from the other side of the door which simply caused me to roll my eyes to myself.

Heading my way downstairs, I found Bill sat on the couch by himself, doodling in his drawing book as always, only he was drunk so I highly doubted that his drawings would be as good as they usually were.

Moving over to the couch, I threw myself down beside the boy I'd grown so fond of during my time here.

"Sup asshole."I called to him with a smile.

Bill let a very small smile ghost across his lips as he looked up from his drawing that he was currently working on, it seemed to be a bird...it looked like some sort of robin.

"S-S-Sup gaping a-a-asshole."He stuttered back in return.

The room fell awkwardly silent for a few moments before Bill placed his drawing aside to turn and gaze at the girl who had joined his family so recently.

"G-G-Georgie really likes you."The boy gulped out, his cheeks slightly flushed from what's assumed to be the alcohol.

"I know, he wouldn't let me leave."I couldn't help but chuckle out to bill.

Bill couldn't help but smile to himself at my words, his gaze falling to the TV which seemed to be playing in the background without anyone paying any attention to it.

Moving, I moved to rest my head on Bill's shoulder, it was something I always did with him, he was quiet comfy.

"But what about you?"I finally asked the other.

The question seemed to have caught Bill off guard and he noticeably gulped at the question, as blue mixed with green eyes turned to meet my baby blue ones, the close proximity quiet intoxicating, more so than the alcohol.

"W-W-What?"Bill whispered.

"What about you? I mean...I don't exactly belong here, I'm not family am I? I'm just a complete stranger wh-"

Before I could finish, lips were attached to my own cutting me off and leaving me quiet shocked and unresponsive.

**_*Reality*_ **

Awakening with damp cheeks from tears that had been caused by the hurtful memories, my eyes darted around the room and I'd noticed that no light had yet seeped through into the room, meaning it was still late at night.

Yes, me and bill had kissed in the past but neither of us had ever mentioned it, I assumed he'd forgotten since he was intoxicated.

We'd gotten into a lot of trouble that night.

Realisation set in once I'd remembered what had happened, IT had made me pass out, that's why I'd fallen asleep so early.

Worry set in as I thought about Bill and what IT had said before he'd done what he did.

Raising from my bed, I moved to hesitantly open my bedroom door, peeking out into the dark and gloomy hall before taking hesitant steps out and towards Bill's room.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly turned the doorknob to Bill's room before I pushed the door open quietly, peeking into the dark room.

I noticed Bill lay in his bed and I couldn't help the relieved sigh that left my lips to see him alive and present.

Almost as if he'd sensed my presence in the room, Bill began to stir in his sleep before he sat up and looked over towards me, rubbing his eyes.

"L-L-Lauren...w-w-what's wrong?"Bill whispered out to me.

I didn't know I was crying until I felt the wet tears dampening my cheeks, something that Bill seemed to notice despite the darkness of the room.

"I was just checking on you."I spoke up softly to him.

"A-A-Are you o-okay?"Bill's voice seemed to be laced in concern.

"Just a bad dream."I whispered out, barely audible.

"A-About G-G-Georgie?"Bill questioned almost as if he could read minds.

"And you...more like memories."I confessed to him whilst wiping my eyes, trying to rid of the evidence of emotion.

"D-D-Do you want to s-s-stay in here?"Bill spoke up, being the complete sweetheart that he always was.

Nodding, I moved over to the bed where I lay myself beside Bill as he lay back with me, pulling the covers over us both. I moved so that I was resting my head on his chest as he closed his eyes, letting out a sigh.

"It's o-o-okay. I g-g-get them too."Bill confessed to me.

Wincing at his words, I couldn't help it as more tears fell from my eyes. The mere knowledge that I had, broke me. The fact I was the cause of Georgie's death killed me.

I did this to him.

"I'm sorry.."I whispered out to him.

"You don't need to be sorry."Bill managed to respond without a single stutter.

Oh but I did. I really did.

Letting out a sigh, I held onto Bill tighter, something which must have confused him deeply but he didn't comment on it.

If Pennywise ever did anything to Bill, it would break me more than anything ever. I'd /never/ forgive IT.

The problem was, I was pretty sure that he'd target Bill and all of my friends just because of how they'd made me feel towards them and I couldn't even bare the thought.

I'd rather give my own life.

Everything was so complicated.

Everything was so fucked.

"I love you Bill."I whispered out to him softly.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave Kudos and comments for more.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and comments for more!


End file.
